What I learned from my mother
How the Reiki Principle 'Honour your parents, teachers and elders let me to appreciate her qualities
There is a Reiki principle that teaches us to honour our parents. I’m sometimes asked how we can do this when our parents are in some way unkind or the relationship is difficult. The Reiki Principles are not meant to be easy, so this can be one of the challenges. Last month was the second anniversary of my mother’s death, so I have been thinking about her a lot. Like many mother-daughter relationships we had our differences. However, I have been reflecting on what she taught me through the way she lived her life and see that a lot of it was valuable.
Both my parents were in caring professions, my father as a doctor and my mother as a social worker. She supported many children and also foster carers and through her work I’m sure changed the course of many young lives. I feel I have been inspired by this to want to offer care and support through difficult times and to help people improve their quality of life.
One of the children my mother helped came back into her life after her house was flooded. As an adult, he now works for an insurance company, so was delighted to help my mother with her claim and ensure the house was generously restored to its former glory!
My mother would notice when people around her were in difficulties and often tried to help. Sometimes this was by giving advice or money, but often it was by devising a way to engage others in helping. For example, in her later years she organised for volunteers to work in the village shop in the pub when she realised that the publican and his wife were struggling to find time to spend with their children. She organised the volunteer rota, served in the shop and even learned to pull a pint at the age of 80! Like her, I enjoy creating ways to support people to have better lives and have held many voluntary roles from which I’ve learned a great deal.
My mother was known among her friends for her kindness and generosity. She liked to do things for people that brightened their day, like baking a birthday cake or taking them out for lunch (food often featured!). I value kindness and generosity as qualities that I believe are fundamental to human nature and follow my mother’s example as often as possible. She gave money from the sale of her car to repair the church organ, which was completed just last week in time for the wedding of a former choir member. As she also sang in the choir, I know this would have delighted her.
As you may have gathered my mother put others first, so when she became ill she didn’t share how much pain she was suffering. She didn’t tell friends she was dying and never complained about the physical difficulties she faced. Although I don’t share her belief that you should keep your suffering a secret, I do admire her determination and stoicism in dealing with difficult health issues without complaint. I think I have gained from her some of that stubbornness in keeping going in spite of health challenges.
So I am grateful to have learned from my mother qualities of caring about others, kindness, generosity and gritty determination to keep going through difficulties.
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